Even Chefs have Kids

August 16, 2007

Yesterday my lovely 12 year old was trying to squeeze into last year’s jeans which she had worn the day before without my knowing.
Me:”Why aren’t you wearing the ones I just bought you?”
12 year old:”Because they are too baggy in the butt and ride too high, like grandma’s jeans.”
Me: “But I asked you in the store if they were too baggy  and you said no and you promised to wear them.”
12 year old:  “Well, I know, but I can’t wear them and I don’t have anything else to wear.
Me:  “Wear a skirt.”
12 year old:  ” I have PE today and can’t.”
Me:  “Wear your sweats.”
12 year old:  “I don’t have anything that goes with them.”
Me:  “You have more clothes than me.  Find something.  If you try to wear those old jeans, I will cut them up with scissors.”
12 year old:  “You can’t do that.”  < crying, whining, crying>  “Your the worst mother ever!”
Me:  “I can’t stand listening to this.  I’m getting in my car in my pajamas and driving around until you get on the bus.”
12 year old:  <crying, whining, crying>
I get in my car.  Take my wallet and my cigarettes and drive around the block until I realize that this is crazy and my 12 year old has run me out of my own home.  I go back to the house.
12 year old:  <STILL crying, whining and crying>
I walk into her room, grab a pair of scissors and cut the old jeans down the front.  Go into my bedroom and close the door.
12 year old:  “I hate you.  I can sew those up you know!”
Me:  “Yeah right.”
10 hours later my 12 year old calls me at work.
12 year old: “those new jeans are just awful.  They came over my belly button.”
Me:  “You never tuck your shirt in anyway, who knows?”
12 year old:  “I do.”  <crying, whining, crying>  “When are you coming home?”
Me:  “Never!”
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